My partner and I are accustomed to filling out forms that don’t reflect our family structure. We regularly scratch out “Father” and “Mother,” usually writing in “Parent” and “Parent”. We’ve trained our son’s school pretty well, and halfway through our first year with them, most of the forms we receive are addressed to the “Parents”. Now that wasn’t hard, was it?
College and the FAFSA
Even though our son is only in first grade, it’s never too early to worry about how we’re going to afford his college education. (After all, it’s a mother’s prerogative to worry). The Free Application for Federal Student Aid (FAFSA) is used by most colleges and universities to determine how much a student should pay towards the cost of his/her education. Many, if not most, middle- and even upper-income families receive some sort of financial aid.
It occurred to me today that since my marriage isn’t recognized by the Federal Government, could I legitimately include just one parent’s income on the form? I’m not trying to cheat, but I do believe that Uncle Sam can’t have it both ways. If they choose not to recognize my marriage (which will (hopefully) be in its 28th year by the time my son starts college) then they have chosen not to recognize my marriage.
Here’s the top of the form:
You can see that the sections are labeled for “Father” and “Mother”. The federal government isn’t thrilled about citizens crossing out their forms and suggesting helpful annotations. So what would I do?
A rose by any other name...
The answer, I believe, lies in the fine print at top defining “Parent”. For the FAFSA, it seems “Parent” refers to the person who has the legal obligation for the student. This is different, for example, than the IRS who cares more about who actually paid for a dependent’s care, rather than who should have paid. If the student lived with a grandmother who paid for the care of the student but had not legally adopted him/her, the grandmother could (probably) declare the student on her income taxes as a dependent, but the grandmother’s income and assets would not be considered for the FAFSA. I think I get the logic, but it’s worth noting that (at least) two Federal organizations have different interpretations of “Parent”.
My partner and I are both legal parents of our child, so we should (and will) include our financial information.
However, if you live in a state where you cannot legally adopt your partner’s child, then you should feel no obligation to include your financial information on the FAFSA. This would be small compensation for the lack of formal parental rights. Imagine your child hurt and in a hospital and you are not allowed to be with them because you are not officially family. Think about this for five seconds and you will see that paying for your child’s college expenses is a small price for the privilege of actually being a parent.
Summary
For a moment today, I thought I’d found a shortcut to pay for my child’s education. Further examination into the question, and I realize it is my parental duty to report my income, too, on the FAFSA (even if I have to cross out Mother/Father and write in Thing1/Thing2*). Finally, I reflect on how lucky I am that I live in a country at a point in history that I can be a parent. I walk across the room and hug my puzzled son. I’ll explain it to him someday.
*Tip ‘o the tall striped hat to Dr. Seuss.
Disclaimer: I’m not a lawyer. I don’t even play one on TV. This information is presented as educational and should not be interpreted as legal advice.
Science and Money Feed
Mombian » Blog Archive » Can Same-Sex Parents Get a Break on College Financial Aid?
on Mar 9th, 2010
@ 6:10 am:
[...] the question my spouse Helen asked over at her blog. I’ll let you pop over there for her thoughts on the subject. via Twitter, Facebook, Digg, [...]
Nutella
on Mar 9th, 2010
@ 1:46 pm:
Followed a link from Mombian.
I am a lesbian mom and I used to work in financial aid. In the case of divorced opposite sex parents, only 1 parent is listed on the FAFSA. Usually, it’s the parent that the student resides with and/or provides more than 50% of the support. Any child support paid or received also goes on the FAFSA.
In the case of same sex parents, married or not, both legally obligated or not, only 1 parent can go on the FAFSA. By law, it must be the parent that provides more than 50% of the support. Typically, that’s also the parent that claims the student as a dependant on a tax return. As you may expect, this can sometimes be difficult to determine and may change from year to year. But, yes, this is one tiny way that same sex parents can legally screw the government.
There are, however, additional implications. One of the biggest factors in determining federal financial aid is the independent vs. dependant student. An independent student is either over age 24, married, providing more than 50% of the support for a child, or already has a Bachelor’s degree. For these students, no parental income information is needed on the FAFSA and financial aid eligibility is determined based on the student’s and spouse’s (if applicable) incomes. Because of DOMA, a student in a same sex marriage is considered dependant, unless they meet one of the other qualifications.
Helen
on Mar 9th, 2010
@ 8:49 pm:
Nutella:
Thanks for writing!
Interesting that same-sex parents only need include one income for the FAFSA. I’ll correct the post.
And you address the differences for dependent / independent students. So a 21-year-old student in an opposite-sex marriage would be considered independent, but that same student would be considered dependent if in a same-sex marriage. Bummer. I can’t think of a (legal) way around that one. I imagine that today the second issue (independent student) is much more common that the first (same-sex parents), but I think that will change as your cupcake grows up.
Bill Singer
on Mar 10th, 2010
@ 9:21 am:
I have been advised by the head of the financial aid office at an ivy league university that only one parent of a same-sex couple should report. Perhaps, your desire to be honest outpaces what most colleges actually require.
Helen
on Mar 10th, 2010
@ 9:04 pm:
Hi Bill,
Great to hear from you.
Sounds like you and Nutella agree that, for a same-sex family, only one parent needs to enter their financial data for the FAFSA. That would seem to be a huge boon to families where both parents work and earn about the same amount — it will cut in half the apparent family income, and presumably substantially increase the student’s eligibility for aid.
As I said to Nutella, I promise to rewrite the post soon, referencing both of your comments. You wouldn’t happen to have a written reference, would you?
By way of full disclosure, I feel an obligation to tell my readers that Bill was our lawyer when we lived in New Jersey. He wrote wills and medical POA’s for my partner and me. He also made the legal magic happen to get both of our names on our son’s birth certificate. We were the second same-sex family in New Jersey to do so. Bill was terrific to work with, and I highly recommend him and his work.
It’s nice to hear from you, Bill, after all these years. We’re all doing well, and hope you are, too.
JoAnne
on Mar 10th, 2010
@ 11:06 pm:
As a married lesbian student who is also a sahm, I filed my FAFSA for financial aid, intending to use my father’s disabled veteran fee waiver (for children of disabled vets in the state of CA). Trying as hard as I might to show that I am a married woman who is also a dependent (as in she supports me financially, not that I don’t work hard!), the form just would not let me show our family for what it is. Showing up at the financial aid office, again, intending to use the fee waiver, I was told by more than one person there was no way to show that I was legally married, and a part of a family where my partner is the one making the money. As far as the feds were concerned I was an unemployed single person, which makes NO sense. My sincerest hope is that someday I will be properly recognized for what I am, a married woman, being supported by my wife so that I will become eligible for Spousal Social Security benefits.
Bill Singer
on Mar 11th, 2010
@ 3:15 pm:
My information came through verbal discussions. I am unaware of any public published statements about the issue.
I do know that some colleges (I was told Brown and Sarah Lawrence) have a different policy and seek information from both parents in a same-sex family.
So as with so many things about our families, there is no easy, simple answer.
Glad to hear that you and your family are wel;l and happy!
Helen
on Mar 11th, 2010
@ 8:23 pm:
JoAnne:
I hear ya’, sister. My partner and I have been together 17 years, and the Federal government still categorizes me as as a single Mom. Harumph. I admit I take pleasure when I find loopholes in the tax structure that favor my family, but I know that there is almost always some other family on the other side of the equation who is shortchanged. I’m sorry to hear that your attempts to fund your education have been impeded by our government blockheads.
Helen
on Mar 11th, 2010
@ 8:30 pm:
Bill:
Thanks for writing back. Interesting to hear that different colleges handle the situation differently. The federally-administered FAFSA is the starting point for most colleges, but clearly each customizes the input further.
Probably the most sensible approach is to not count on the additional financial aid that a favorable treatment might bring, but to plan to fund the education that you want for your child(ren). One could then consider any tuition reduction bonus one might receive as just that — a bonus (or a summer vacation to Europe).